Firecrackers & Broken Clocks: Delayed Christmas in Serbia
So, for those of you from Outer Space, not particularly familiar with our little Serbian Julius Cesarian Orthodox Delay, today, on the 7th of January, is when the vast majority of Serbian citizens celebrate Christmas, that is – all those belonging to the Serbian Ortodox Church, still a bit skeptical about the common, Gregorian calendar.
I won’t bore you with customs and ceremonies – if you’re really that interested, just f… khm, pardon, I forgot myself on this holy day – you can always google it. I’ll just say a thing or two about some, well, inconsistencies in the way it’s being celebrated in Serbia.
Now, even though I myself am not religious, Christmas is something that I – speaking of the concept solely – have nothing against: I think of Jesus as an early philosopher who had some really hip ideas, especially for that time, and – most importantly – had the guts to risk and lose his life preaching them. Sorry, I don’t believe he was the Son of God, or that he resurrected, or anything about that whole afterlife mumbo-jumbo, because I simply haven’t been given a single good reason to do so. Anyway, in the end, it’s the teaching that really counts, innit? If it makes sense, who cares if he turned water into gatorade, performed non-intrusive hip replacement, or whatever?
I believe it does, so it’s perfectly fine with me to celebrate his birthday. Now, let’s move on to the next point, shall we.
What really bothers me about Christmas in Serbia, is the way it’s being celebrated.
First of all, in the past decade Christianity has become almost a competitive social discipline in Serbia, and Christmas still hasn’t managed to come even close to being a time of true joy and love – it’s more of a „patriotic obligation“. It’s more about being a True Serb™, than a true Christian. It’s more about mimicking some pagan protocols, than loving thy neighbor, because people still fail to realize that there is only one person that you as a Christian really need to impress.
And even when they do think of God, he is being seen as some grumpy old hair-splitting prick, that just sits up there with a magnifying glass and waits for you to order that extra burger or accidentaly whistle pass the graveyard, so he could instantly book you a ménage-à-trois with Saddam & Satan down in the Inferno.
But let’s just blame half a century of communism for destroying our true Christian spirit.
Then there’s firecrackers. A genuine barrage of explosions ranging from silent pops to DIY hand grenades, and a lonely gun shot here and there. Something you would usually call juvenile delinquency, and those who do it – wicked little antichrists – suddenly becomes a way to „Celebrate the Birth of God“. How cute.
It’s 17:11 at the time I’m writing this, and I can still hear them every 10-15 minutes. It started last night, around 10 PM.
But let’s say that’s not exactly a commonplace – after all, it takes only one spoiled brat with a pack of firecrackers to annoy the whole neighborhood.
Lastly, something that has apsolutely nothing to do with Jesus or Christianity, but with sheer human vanity: The infamous two week latency of all our religious holidays, due to the imperfection of the Julian calendar (direct predecessor of the common, Gregorian), that Serbian Orthodox Church still clings on.
I still haven’t heard a single plausible argument in it’s favour but I can only imagine what would most of our fellow citizens have to say if asked for their oppinion about the possibility of Serbian Ortodox Church switching to Gregorian calendar, and I bet my kidney it would be something like: – [voice of Eddie Izzard impersonating James Mason] Jesus Christ, you mean like the Catholics!? And what’s next, legalization of paedophilia!? – But the Greek have already done it, the calendar thingy, and they’re Ortodox too! – Really? Damn, there goes the neighborhood…
It’s always reminds me of that hillarious rivalry between Judaean People’s Front and People’s Front of Judaea, from Monty Python’s: Life of Brian.
It’s like you have a broken clock that’s always late, and you refuse to wind it properly, or buy a new one, because you’re affraid you might lose a part of your identity (!?). Imagine the horror of having your religious calendar synchronised with the rest of the Christian world! Aarrrgh… [jumps through the window of a first floor apartment]
Although it seems trivial, I believe that this issue particularly is a symptom of a much greater problem: somehow, people in Serbia have come to believe that the greatest virtue for a nation is just to be different, not better than the others. That way, we have began to see some of our flaws and imperfections as important parts of our national identity, and thus have transformed them into virtues.
Unfortunately, that’s a whole new topic, and it’s about time to bring this one to a closure.
So, instead of a washed out & meaningless „Merry Christmas“ (or „Hristos se rodi!“, as it is said in Serbian), if you like to consider yourself a Christian – or even if you don’t:
Be brave, be smart, question authorities (no, not police authorities), question yourself, be bold enough to confront your peers and try talking some sense into them when you’re certain they are wrong, but don’t lose your patience if you get misunderstood – that’s what Jesus himself did.
Laugh, love & enjoy life – I’m sure that’s what he would have wanted you to do.
Cheers!
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Mufti Zukorlic’s photo-montage blunder
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Good Mourning, Serbia
and Merry Christmas! Who cares about the dates? There’s absolutely no historical proof that Jesus ever existed, not even as a teacher or philosopher. There are no historical records of him outside of the Bible. He is most likely just a mythical figure that follows the pattern of other dying and resurrecting Solar gods, like Osiris, Mithras and Dionysus. December 25th was chosen as the birthday of Christ only centuries later, to coincide with Pagan celebrations of winter solstice – the birth of the Sun. His teachings are also a mixed bag. There’s the love-your-neighbor part, but there are also parts like “Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household.” So yeah, whether you’re Christian or not, question authorities and question what you’ve been told to believe. What really matters is to love each other and have fun.
I’m always very keen on Christmas in Serbia but I’m fully aware that its more of a tradition thing rather than a religious one – and that in some way this makes me a hypocrite.
There is that element you mention Nemanja – that Christmas is in effect a celebration of being Serb Orthodox and to indulge in rituals without thinking, rather than to think of Christ or God for even one moment. I’m sure there are households that do remember the real meaning of Christmas and put on a show about it – and in reality dont act in line with the true rules of Christianity either. I guess thats bound to happen. And there must be some households that really do know the spirit of Christmas too.
The fireworks / firecrackers I’m not so keen on. I have some kid living above me who delights in tossing them at all times of day or night out of his bedroom window and sometimes they land on my balcony giving me a real start. Nor is it much fun reading about the annual casualty list of those that went out for Serbian new year and were injured by some idiot’s firework (made in China, would never pass EU regulations) or by some 50 something year old man who insists upon firing his gun into the air. Does anybody know the reason why guns are fired for New Year in Serbia?
Anyway a very merry Christmas and happy new year to everyone from all of us at the Belgrade blog.
Nice blog (in French) for you to add to your blog roll – lots of interesting photographs – Le Belgradois
Thanks, Owen, I will certainly add it – we definitely need more blogs with similar topic for the francophone readers!
For F^$#‘s sake.
Can I ever come on to this site and read a blog post that doesn’t criticise or is cynical about Serbia’s people, or Serbia’s religion, or Serbia’s music, or some aspect of Serbia. As much as you can critcise this country and it’s people, you can criticise every single country in the world in a similar way and perhaps even more so. We know it’s not perfect.
I notice a lot of these writers are Serbian too. Is it just a grass is greener thing, or do you all have some sort of self-worth complex that is manifesting itself in these dry and cynical posts?
@KPK: Of course you can. Keep checking the site, we may surprise you sometimes
Viktor’s perfectly entitled to complain about hyper-decibel firework abuse, he speaks on behalf of victims worldwide.
Viktor wasn’t the author/complainer, Owen, it was “Nemanja Radojkovic”.
In that case respect to Nemanja. Thanks for the correction.
No intelligent and respectable historian, nowadays, can deny that Jesus actually existed as a person (this is an answer to “cheers on” 1st comment) there are just too much proof like letters, notes, sketches, etc outside of the bible. It’s like denying that Napoleon existed, or Constantine. What is on debate is the divinity and was he special. PS And as a person who studied Egyptology for some time I have to ask where do you get this BS about dec. 25? No scriptures , be it Egyptian, Greek, Hindu, Muslim actually mention exact date of their god’s being born. Can’t talk for the later two, but Egyptology is kind of my thing and I have had some experience with Greek mythology. The ancients tend to be very broad with their myths and focus on the story, never on dates, thats why there are so many different variations of the stories (or as some call it myths on top of myths). Please check your facts before posting, and please don’t use Wikipedia, we all know it is not a reliable source, neither are most websites. If you want to do serious research, read scientific journals and books written by certified historians and anthropologists, not written by theorists, conspiracy/speculation and fiction writers (I’m referring to Dan Brown, is that where you got you facts? sounds like it) do you know that there are still people and communities that don’t believe that Holocaust happened, think that Lord of the Rings is based on real historical-events, and think that 9/11 either made up by the government or was a conspiracy of UN. ...Pathetic, screw freedom of speech and press, people like these should never be allowed to be published and pass staff like this for a fact.
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