Belgrade, Serbia

Definitions of Sub-Zero Temperatures

Published: January 12, 2009

An old email joke recently became popular again in all this Russian-Ukraine gas problem thingy. And it doesn’t seem it’s going to be settled any time soon, unfortunately. A good laugh and a bottle of Vodka can warm a person up, as they say in the Bible. So here it goes, and if you want it in Serbian, head on to Vesic’s blog.

+18 °C Hawaiians grab another blanket
+10 °C Helsinki citizens turn off the heating
+2 °C Italian cars won’t start:

0 °C Distilled water freezes

-1 °C Your breath becomes visible. Russians eat ice cream and drink beer
-4 °C Your dog jumps in your bed

-10 °C French cars won’t start

-12 °C Politicians start to mention the homeless

-15 °C American cars won’t start

-20 °C You can hear your breath now.

-24 °C Japanese cars won’t start

-28 °C Your dog jumps in your pajamas

-29 °C German cars won’t start

-30 °C All normal cars won’t start

-36 °C Russian cars won’t start

-39 °C Russians button up the last button on their shirts

-50 °C The car jumps in your bed

-60 °C Helsinki citizens begin to freeze. Russians button up their coats.

-72 °C Lawyers put their hands into their own pockets.

-120 °C Alcohol freezes. Russians are totally messed up.

-273 °C Absolute zero. All particles freeze. Russians lick frozen vodka.

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